Kelly Ashley

I have a few friends who have recently gone through some difficult experiences, and one recently said that they keep thinking, “Why do bad things happen to ‘good people’?”

I (think I) figured it out; at least some of it.

Bad things happen to ‘good people’ because they will use the grief, lessons, and understanding to help others in similar situations.

‘Bad people’ will turn those experiences into anger and use that energy to make others hurt or suffer in the way that they did, or worse.

Whether you think of yourself as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, in every moment of struggle you have the power to choose one; for your present and future effect on yourself (mind & body), and others.

If you’re going through a tough time, know that when the situation is over or these feelings have passed or subsided, you will be stronger as a person and as a contributor to the world.

Have faith in what comforts and guides you, and, most of all, in your own strength.

Be good to yourself, and others.

We have now been on the road for four weeks.

It’s liberating, constantly exciting, and sometimes very frustrating.

Thus far on the adventure, we:

• left The Snowys and spent a week in Canberra, the Australian capital city

• drove to the coast and stopped in Bateman’s Bay, Mystery Bay, Congo and Byron Bay

• really enjoyed Byron and stayed in the area for four days, during which we met a girl who recently left the same town in Tahoe that we did, went to her house and found she lives with our favorite bartender from our favorite Tahoe restaurant (more chance meetings)

• spent two days in Brisbane where we walked at night among artistic lights and free street DJs, toured markets, pet koalas, fed kangaroos and wallabies, and stood inches from a Cassowary  

• stopped in Surfer’s Paradise and Burleigh Heads on The Gold Coast

• went back to the Byron area where we stayed in a real tree house

• got back on the road and had a break down

Since we arrived in Australia, we’ve had lots of fun along the way and several frustrating moments, but nothing as tough as when we broke down on the side of the road, did not know the nearest town, and all devices were short on battery.

When I wanted to yell and curse myself for purchasing a car in a foreign country, the boy reminded me that these are all “first world” problems.

Especially given the recent events in my hometown area of New York recently I am so very grateful to be safe, healthy, happy and appreciate the support of my family, friends, acquaintances and colleagues.

Consider this a thank you, and a reminder to us all to give thanks and to make the time to stop and smell the eucalyptus, especially in those frustrating moments.

P.S. Thank you Jason, Dave and the guys at Pacific Garage!

I started yesterday the way I have started most since I moved to Australia: alarm, shower, decaf green tea, rolled oats, email checking, carpool with the boy into town to work from my favorite coffee shop.

When I got there, I was once again greeted by the friendly staff who call me “Green Tea Kelly”, and sat at my favorite table [next to the outlet] to use some free WiFi and zone into work.

About two hours later, my laptop requested a charge and I reached into my backpack to grab the charger… which I forgot.

Since the car was now 30 minutes away with the boy at work and I needed some good exercise, I decided walk the 8 kilometers (10 minute drive) to our house so that I could appease my computer and get back to work.

[Cutting out a lot] An hour later, I decided that if I had about another hour of walking, I might as well take the scenic route nature trail, which would also keep me away from the road - a good decision since Australian drivers do not yield to pedestrians.

On the trail, I passed a mountain biker several times who finally stopped and said hello.

He is from Papa New Guinea and had seen me in town and wanted to know if I am of Pacific island decent [I’m not]. We had a great conversation for about 20 minutes about politics, culture, race, and Australia, and I found out that he is currently writing a play that is partially about New York. He has never been there, so as a native New Yorker who loves theater and is looking to bring it back into my life, we unofficially made a coffee date to discuss the play further.

After another hour I was walking in the rain and starting to get very frustrated.

I wanted to make my way to the road to hitchhike home, but paused and reminded myself that I needed the exercise, was in Australia walking among kangaroo footprints and that the sun was still shining through the water drops so I should look for a rainbow [+ hitchhiking alone = not safe].

When I finally arrived home, thirsty and tired, I felt my endorphin rewards.

I plugged in and got back to work and the rest of the day was filled with food, music, good company, great conversations, educational documentaries… and a glass of whiskey.

Taking the ‘road less traveled’ sometimes turns out to be a huge detour [1.5 hours longer than you thought], but if you take the scenic route and stop to enjoy the view, it’s a great trip.

“Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.” - The Grateful Dead

Today I was given another reminder of what matters most in life.

Ever since I left New York, I have partially felt the need to justify my lifestyle.

Where am I living? With whom? Why? For how long?

Today I had several conversations with people that I trust that reminded me that I don’t have to.

What matters is that I’m living, and I’m fortunate to be healthy and happy.

I took some time today to sit outside, connect with nature and write. I made a ‘free writing’ list of What Matters Most to me, and what doesn’t:

Most lessons in life are not easy. Some are unfair. Some make you want to hate the entire process.

Life is hard, but it doesn’t have to suck.

There will be positive and negative events in life that will drastically change you - whether it’s for better or worse is up to you.

Keep what matters most to you in mind, and you’ll make it through, rather successfully. 

It’s now been two years since I left NYC.

I wrote a post on this day last year, and want to keep reflecting.

Being from the “New York Metropolitan area”, living in NYC was my wish come true.

I was excited to move to New Zealand, but leaving close friends from middle school, high school, college and the start of my career was hard.

But if I hadn’t taken flight and made the big move, I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today.

People say to me/ask all the time:

“I could never do that!”

“How did you do that?”

“Did you really want to do that?”

“What was it like?”

You can.

I took a chance.

Fuck yes.

Amazing!

Three weeks ago, I moved to Australia.

Right before I left, a close friend asked me, in concern, if I really wanted to make the move, and if it was easy.

I told her the truth: it hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been amazing and the best way to get to know myself and strengthen my friendships and romantic relationship.

In the past two years, I’ve moved across the world twice, started new jobs, been laid off, made new friends, lost touch with old friends, and continued to travel.

I’ve embraced the spirit of the dragon thus far in 2012, and am continuing to focus on work that inspires me, doing more acting and writing and learning everything that I can.

I still love New York, and it will always be home, but I am thankful for the opportunity to see much more.

“We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home.” - Australian Aboriginal Proverb

Just like during our Tahoe move, we gave ourselves two days to find an apartment and buy a car, and made it all happen!

I knew I would have a Bachelor’s Degree and have started my career, and hoped that I would have (I did!) found a partner.

I didn’t think I would have left New York to move to New Zealand, and then to California.

I thought I would be in/have completed graduate school.

Being a twenty-something today is a different experience than it was when my parents were my age. People settled down early, bought homes, and many got a job and stayed with that company for the entirety of their career.

Some twenty-somethings still live that lifestyle, but it’s not for me.

I’ve spent the last 26 years figuring out who I am and what I want to get out of life.

This year, I’m going to focus on continuing to travel, only working jobs that inspire me, doing more acting and writing and learning everything that I can in the process.

The next 26 years are for living my dreams.

Above all else, I’m going to be myself.

Six months ago today, I sat down at my desk at work, enjoying the second bite of my late afternoon lunch, when the CFO of the [small] company I was working for came over and said,

“Ah, lunch time.”

“…yep!”

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

He then took me into our Human Resources Director’s office, and “let me go.”

I knew it was coming, after a string of emails on Friday afternoons announcing company veterans had left to ‘pursue other opportunities.’

I was prepared for this moment, but it still sucked. Really bad.

I remember the freedom I felt as I arrived home early on that August afternoon, sun shining bright, and walked the two blocks from my house to the North Lake Tahoe Kings Beach to dig my toes into the sand.

I was happy in that moment (♥ Incubus) - the possibilities were endless, but I also had no idea where to start.

Six months later, I can say that, even that life event, happened for a reason.

I have since taken on more challenging and meaningful work, and learned a whole lot about myself in the process.

I made lemonade out of those lemons, and every sip is still refreshing.

The lunar new year is approaching. We’re moving from the year of the rabbit to the year of the dragon in the Chinese cycle.

I was recently speaking with a friend who, on New Year’s Eve, was planning a backpacking trip through Europe this spring. I recently checked in with her to ask how her planning was going:

Her: “I’m dithering about going.. Worried about quitting my internship and not being employable after.”

Me: “GO! I have gotten my last two jobs partially because they loved that I traveled, and partially because my travels connected me to people my bosses knew.”

Her: “…how does this sound- go to Europe in April then come back and try and get into marketing (because I think I would love it and be good at it..) realistic?”

Me: “…you may travel and learn that you love teaching, or dancing, or skiing, or music - plan to go to Europe in April and learn more about yourself, then get into what you love.”

The dragon appears in the Chinese calendar once every 12 years. It’s the epitome of power, nobility and perseverance, tracing back to early Chinese mythology.

In Chinese astrology, the Year of the Dragon is by far, the luckiest. A year to be brave, passionate, innovative and flexible.

Today marks one year* since I left my comfortable job and apartment full of college friends in NYC, to move across the world with a boy I fell in love with and had only known for 8 months.

Truth.

I moved from New York to New Zealand in search of new beginnings, and although my path and route has changed drastically from what I had planned on this day one year ago, I can confidently say that I have never been happier and healthier than I am right now.

I have always been a planner. I love the art of organization and the feeling of success when something you’ve spent time and energy meticulously outlining comes together.

To stop planning, reclaim spontaneity, and accept change, was just what I needed.

Following my study abroad in college, I longed to expand my travels and international experiences. The proud feeling I get when given the opportunity to list the places I’ve been to date and the ever-growing list of places I plan to visit is like no other.

So to find a new side of the world, in tandem with a new side of myself, and to get to know myself better - my interests, desires, goals, dreams, wishes - has been is wonderful.

I now live in another beautiful place, and am figuring out my route from here as spontaneously as possible.

And yes, I’m still in love with that boy.

Life is good.

*As noted in my previous post, I arrived in New Zealand on July 1, 2010 but left NYC on June 29, 2010. June 30th was lost in the time warp.

As previously mentioned, on July 1 I moved to Wanaka, New Zealand. After boy finished his snowboard and ski instructor training course, we traveled New Zealand and have now landed in the Kings Beach neighborhood of Lake Tahoe, California…

and boy is working at NorthStar.

Being a New York native, thus far living in California is what I expected. The people are laid back, bohemian, friendly, and most moved here for a change of pace/lifestyle/scenery/environment.

We are surrounded by eccentric boutiques, cafes, restaurants and stores and today it started snowing which finally made it feel like Christmas time.

Life is good.

I haven’t updated this site in a month, but there’s good reason for it: On July 1st I moved to New Zealand.

Yes, to New Zealand from NYC.

Boy came here to do a snowboard instructors training course, and when I was offered to tag along I couldn’t say no.

We are in Lake Wanaka - a beautiful mountain town that surrounds New Zealand’s fourth-largest lake.

The town is very focused on being eco-friendly and using locally produced food, products and services, showcased through the organization Sustainable Wanaka and Wanaka Wasterbusters.

Wanaka’s mountain views, complimented by the views from the popular ski/board haven Treble Cone are absolutely gorgeous.

Our accommodation is amazing.

My overall demeanor is much more relaxed, as is my blood pressure. I’m sleeping in, reading, taking long walks, thinking, planning, snowboarding, cooking, babysitting, volunteering and appreciating each day.

Life is good.